What I’ve Learned From Bad Leadership

I have learned over time that leadership is something that is bestowed naturally on a select few, and is a skill learned by a few others.  With practice, good leadership is something that the latter can become automatic as the former.  Conducting meetings, trouble-shooting and decision-making, encouragement of others, and many other facets of leadership may appear second-nature to the gifted one, but it’s only through repetition of sound principles that have been honed through practice over time.  Through it all, it may come across as a gut reaction, but it’s really the sum total of experience in that specialized area.  

You will typically find these characteristics in big corporations or organizations which are committed to hiring the best in their fields. 

However, thanks to the tremendous luck that I have had over the years, I have had the wonderful experience of working with many not-so-gifted individuals.  In fact, my experience with these leaders has shown me what not to do and what not to look for in a leader - people with habits that really do not do anything to empower others for greatness.

There are many things that we can do to be effective leaders, such as having a positive attitude, developing relationships with those around us, providing effective feedback, or perhaps teaching with a purpose.  And, while we can go through the whole list of what it takes to be a leader, sometimes our lives can be made simpler if we had leaders who followed the “do-not” principles of leadership.  I shake my head when I think of those who I have worked under, and stand amazed on how they survived their tenure in the workplace. 

So here are just five areas that I have seen where you’re guaranteed to fail as a leader:

1.  Egotistical or Wishy-Washy Decision Making

I had the chance to work with these two types of managers.  They sit at opposite ends of the decision-making spectrum.  The first attribute consists of the egotistical decision-maker, someone who makes a decision and then submits the decision for brainstorming.  This is done in an attempt to sell the decision to his colleagues for the purpose of reassuring himself that he made a good decision and to “show” the crowd that he has it all together.  This can work out well if the decision pans out to be successful.  But most of the time it is not going to happen that way.  They think that they have the crowd fooled that they know it all, but in truth, they are transparently dull.  I had the chance to see this first hand by working with one person who already had the decision made before it was discussed.  The sad part about this was that many good ideas were never implemented because of this person’s unwillingness to change.  True leaders have a desire to know more and are constantly looking for ways to do things better by searching for ideas from others and asking genuine questions from his peers, even if it means showing the others that he does not know everything. 

The wishy-washy decision maker is exactly that.  He cannot make any decision (even a correct one) for fear of loss, either reputation, career, money, et cetera.  In turn, he refuses to allow his colleagues to help with ideas or to allow input through the asking of good questions that could potentially solve his dilemma (see above, and see below as well).  The person who I worked for had the tremendous fear of failing.  He was constantly worried about his job security and didn’t want to make waves or perhaps make a costly decision.  People like him fail to realize that a decision will continue to keep things in motion and, for the most part, maintaining progress.  Real leaders know that there will be a few setbacks along the way but there will be more advancements too.  This type of decision-maker tends to work for the type of leader described in #2 below. 

2.  Refusing to Allow People to Grow

I had a great experience with one who was constantly putting the clamps down on people whenever they offered input.  Many times she tried to intimidate our group with her title and her “knowledge” whenever a meeting was held.  It soon became a common feeling among us that our meetings were becoming a waste of time.  Her biggest mistake was failing to take the attention off herself and encourage others to offer their points of view with confidence.  She created a hostile environment with her unwillingness to take into consideration any idea that would benefit her and the small company of which we were all a part.  She failed to learn to understand our thinking along with our talents for the jobs that we had.  She discouraged thinking or problem-solving on our own because she wanted to be the hero to the client, not her team.  By refusing to allow our team to be challenged, to think for ourselves, and to grow, she eventually drove us into just going in and doing our jobs and let things happen, and allow her to fix it all, because we were now mere cogs in a mechanism rather than the fuel that powered the engine.  We could not learn anything new, and we all know what happens by not learning – we don’t grow, and over time become insignificant in our work.  Ultimately, her inability to receive input also cost the company valuable clients; over time her key people left one at a time (myself included) like a conga line out the door, leaving her with a shell of a business that was once thriving and had potential for greatness. 

Leaders are constantly looking for input and ideas, and are desirous of those who are willing to think for themselves.  The best managers I have had were those who allowed me to make my own decisions to do what was best for the company and/or department where I worked.  I made it my purpose to create less work for my boss and only provide solutions for problems as they arose, unless the problem was something beyond all our control. 

3.  Laziness

This is common among leaders.  When I think of laziness, I tend to think of two people in particular.  When I was a teenager, I worked for a aircraft dealership and fixed base operator at an international airport.  I worked with two men - Carl and Mario.  Carl was a grumpy old man, but he was a great example.  Our job was to service general aviation aircraft, by fueling them and/or storing them on a airport ramp or in a hangar.  In the early afternoon (we worked from 2-11) his job was like the rest of ours, but he oversaw the ramp and coordinated all the activity for the rest of the crew.  He moved nonstop from the start of the shift until the early evening, when the desk crew called it a night and then he took over inside until the end of the shift.  Even on the inside he was busy, tallying receipts, recording fuel logs, and taking inventory of aircraft stored at our facility.  He had a belief that he could sleep well at night because he made sure everything was done correctly.  His people skills left a lot to be desired, but he was fair and worked just as hard as anyone else, if not more. 

On the flip side, Mario was a different story.  Mario was a lot younger than Carl, and enjoyed spending as much time inside, behind the desk, talking on the telephone and socializing with anyone who was around, anything that could take him away from the work that we had to do.  His people skills were obviously better than Carl's, but he didn't have the respect of the crew as Carl did.  Whenever Mario was in charge, there were always complaints from the morning crew of fuel trucks left empty or unlocked, aircraft left untied or not put away in a hangar, early morning fuel orders not done, and many things that caused the morning shift to run behind, having to finish the job from the night before. 

Leading by example is very simple, but few people are willing to do it.  Those who are successful at this are mindful how people look at them and make sure that their best is done, not for the purpose of looking good to the others, but for the purpose of doing good for others.  They always have the benefit of the doubt when an issue arises that is out of character with their performance, but will own up to the mistake if it is made, to the surprise of those around them. 

4.  Failure to Communicate

Years ago, I worked for a local medical center and was constantly amazed on how much our management team tried to keep our department in the dark about changes that were coming.  Through many reliable sources and key people throughout the center, it was apparent that jobs were on the way to being cut and drastic changes were to be made.  When confronted about the potential changes that were headed our way, the management team was constantly assuring us that there was nothing on the horizon and that there was nothing to worry about; that is, until the feared job cuts and changes in job descriptions were actually implemented.  This caused tremendous distrust throughout the center and, as a result, job performance suffered and costs went up, creating more cuts and job changes.  It became a downward spiraling effect, resulting in poor morale and the resignations of many fine people who went elsewhere for a better opportunity.

It was not always that way.  At the time I started with this medical center, I had the privilege of working for a director who constantly reminded us of the expectations required of all of us as a team.  She made it easy for us to continue on the path that was laid out for us.  She was not only a communicator, but she also was a sound decision-maker and encouraged input from all of us on a regular basis.  Her managerial style maximized performance and kept us aware of those things that would cause problems to our operation, and enable us to trouble-shoot the problems as they arose and fixing them before they became out of hand. 

5.  Blaming Others

It is absolutely amazing how this tends to be overlooked in management courses.  One such manager had the quickest finger in the west, pointing it at others when things went wrong.  Once again, this stems from fear of the person above them, afraid to make a mistake, developing poor decision-making skills.  The saddest part of all is that this type of leader fails to take any type of proactive step in growing as a professional and spends the rest of their career in some type of middle-management position, never growing, blaming others, and making life miserable for themselves as well as those around them. 

A successful leader will allow those around them to guide their decision-making process through input from those underneath him.  They are not necessarily being controlled by their actions but they are just allowing the ebb and flow of their work performance to ascertain the needs that are required for the department at that time.  By being proactive, they can anticipate the needs of their people and maintain a constant level of achievement. 

All things considered...

Leaders are constantly looking for ways to do things better, utilizing the talent around them and empowering those around them (themselves included) to grow in all areas of abilities and talent.  It is a never-ending challenge that really requires just a small amount of effort, but on a consistent basis, in order to keep the wheels, cogs and sprockets greased and moving along in the mechanism of life.

John Flores, also known as the Plain Brown Rapper, and owner and president of Company Si Consulting (as well as secretary and janitor), has a purpose of taking a somewhat less-than-serious look at the challenge of overcoming in the area of business, weight loss, donuts, personal relationships, Jesus, God, and alligator wrestling, not necessarily in that order. He created his blog and his business for people who are looking for encouragement during tough times, and it is his hope that if he can inspire one person to get through their valley, then he's served his purpose...but he would still like to get paid.  

Facebook Page at http://facebook.com/companysi

Twitter Page at http://twitter.com/companysi

Website located at http://companysi.com

Quoth The Ravens: Nevermore

I have to say...I'm not excited about the result of the Super Bowl yesterday. My team, the 49ers, lost by 3 points, despite the chance to go ahead with only a couple of minutes left in the game. This after coming back from 22 points down. People blame a bad call, a poor defense, rotten special teams, inept play calling, but the truth of the matter is this: someone had to win and someone had to lose. Turns out my team was the latter, rather than the former.

I can recall when I was half the age I am today, how a loss like this would have devastated me for days on end. Up until yesterday I never had experienced my team losing the Super Bowl. So, after hearing the horror stories of how depressed people when their team loses the Super Bowl, I was kind of concerned as the Ravens took a 28-6 lead early in the 3rd quarter.

But the 49ers came back, and I held my breath as Colin Kaepernick lobbed the ball to Michael Crabtree for one final shot at the end zone...and the ball flew past Crabtree's outstretched arms.

And the Ravens defense said, "Nevermore."

Game over. Save for one final punt return with no time left in the game, I knew it was over. It wasn't going to happen this year.

This morning I woke up and went about my day. It was a strange feeling, kind of like the day after a friend passes away. The emotional roller coaster that goes on can have a lingering effect throughout that day. As with a lost friend, I would think of the good times that I had with him or her, and focus on the fun times, along with experiencing the sadness of reaching the end of my friend's life. The same feeling comes with any successful season, whatever the sport may be. I enjoy the victories, wallow in the defeats, see my team rise to the pinnacle, only to fall short. Just like the life of a friend, a team's good season is filled with highs and lows, reaching it's potential, and then calling it for the year, win or lose.

Then Monday comes along...and you realize that life continues. Some may have a tougher time dealing with the loss, but as age and/or maturity sets in, you realize that it's only a game. Life, however, isn't a game, but you can win, even if the odds are against you.

On the field, the 49ers weren't guaranteed a victory, even with a solid game plan. The Ravens would find some way to beat them by creating a defensive scheme to disrupt them.

Life, however, has only one scheme: to get in your way if you let it, or to get out of the way if you don't.

How can we win in life? With a solid game plan for life:

1. Have a vision or dream for your life.
2. Have a business/career/skill that will help you get there.
3. Associate with the right people.
4. Read and listen to the right stuff.
5. Decide on the price you're willing to pay, either in time or money.
6. Be willing to work at least half a day; it doesn't matter which twelve hours you pick (this according to a successful friend of mine).
7. Last but not least, learn to accept this truth, no matter how difficult it is: Ultimately, people will do what they want to do, and will not do what they do not want to do.

The Ravens did what they had to do to win that game yesterday. The 49ers gave it their best shot, but fell short. Make the effort to give it your best shot, and you'll win. You may not get a first down on each possession, but you'll get enough of them to win in the Super Bowl of life!

Go out and make it a great day!

John

Why Relationships Are Like Tuna

I love tuna.  Not everyone does, but I know most people do.  I've never eaten whale, and I don't know anyone who has.  So, what does that have to do with networking?    

My friend Beth Bridges, who is a a networking expert, put out a question today on her Facebook page (see link below) regarding networking and what it should be all about.  There are different opinions about what it is, but her opinion on networking was this:  

"The difference between networking and sales is that with networking, you interact with someone as if you don't care whether or not the relationship leads to a sale."  

This is quite true.

Yet in all my different lines of business, networking is essential if I want to make an income. It would seem a waste of time if all I did was network and not make any money.  Then, I'd have to get a job and I wouldn't have time to network except with those I'm around all day, which may be 5-10 people, and then I'd get fired for just shmoozing with people and not working, and then I'd have more time to network, but I'd have to get another job because...and so on.

But I don't want to network for the purpose of making a sale only.  I know people that do that and while they may be nice people, they show little interest in me or my concerns.  They're only interested in me if I can put money in their pocket.  I don't want to be like that either.

My dad used to ask me years ago, when I was in the insurance business:  "How'd it go today?"

 I'd say, "I met a lot of nice people."

"So, you didn't make any money, then."

"Uh, no."  

I wound up caring if the relationship led to a sale.  I got discouraged, and eventually quit.  I liked meeting people, but I wasn't getting anywhere.

So what's networking all about for me?  Well, I used to hunt whale, and now I catch tuna.

Huh?

Whales versus tuna.  That's how I look at networking.  I really wasn't sure how I came up with this analogy but it really illustrates the impetus that got me going in this direction.  

When I look at people who network, there are two types of networkers that I see.  I look at them as captains of a boat, some who hunt whale, and others who fish for tuna.

They operate their own business, they have their own crew (or team), they're motivated in that they have to get out on the water in order to make a living.  

So let's say I'm a whaling captain...the type of networker who looks for whales.  Just as whales are large, so are people: with status, large spheres of influence, money, many friends, popularity, and so on.  As I work a networking function, looking for whales, I'll talk to one person who's just there to meet a couple of people.  This person has no business interest of any kind, so I'll quickly make small talk and look for a way out of the conversation as I look for my whale, flip the person a business card while breaking it off  in order to attack my whale once it enters the room, in order to be able to rub fins, er, elbows, with the whale.  It might pay off, but most of the time it won't.

So I catch a whale, and then what?  I have to eat the whale.  How can I eat a whale?  I take bites out of it, continually poking at it, as it writhes in agony from my prodding and picking, trying to get another referral, or sale, or whatever it is I can out of it.  

Whales aren't always a good bet.  If you know the story of Captain Ahab and Moby Dick, you'll know that it didn't end well for him as he went after the poor whale.  Ahab was so hellbent on catching that whale that he and his ship went down, including Starbuck, his mate.  

By the way, Starbuck, Starbuck's Coffee...yeah, that's how they got their name.  Pequod (the boat) was the first idea, but "meeting at Pequod's" doesn't have the same feel.  

That all being said, it's pretty obvious I'm a tuna boat captain.  

As a tuna captain, I'm the the networker who is looking for as many tuna as I can.  As I said, I love tuna.  In fact, I love all my tuna.  Tuna are the people that are like me and you.  Yet, I know that there can't be any success by pulling one tuna in my net, and calling it a day, so I need a lot of tuna for a good day.  Plus, I can't eat all my tuna right away, but I do have enough tuna to last me for the day and the rest I can store down in the hold for awhile.  Tuna are easier to store below deck.  You fill up the hold with water and they just swim in there until I need one, and then another, and then another. Meanwhile I keep adding tuna to the hold for later on. Now, once in a while, there will be a dolphin who will come along and get caught in my net. Dolphins are like those people who aren't very responsive to any type of approach that I may use to network with them. I cut them out of the net and send them on their way with very little trauma to me or the dolphin. Then, I continue to catch tuna and filling my bin.

What's happening to my whale?  He's up on deck, hanging from a hook, as it gets picked away for more referrals, sales, blah, blah, blah...and now its starting to smell.

My tuna?  In the water down in the hold, swimming along happily, until I need it.  

So, what's my bait?  Genuine interest in people has created a catch of tuna for me over the years.  I maintained relationships with a lot of them, and a lot of them are helping me in my latest project.  

What do I use for a net?  I love on them all.  I treat them as if they are my own kids, remembering every detail I can about them, and just care about them.  As for the tuna which offers no business interest, I don't think of tossing this tuna back -- I keep them in my hold so my tuna never goes bad.  I say hi to them on Facebook, I give them a Happy Birthday greeting, I call them, I take a few minutes if I bump into them.  I'll set time to have coffee or lunch with them.  You see, even if there is no actual business potential with that tuna, then what I have is a friend, which is what I'm really what I'm trying to fill my net with all along...friends.

If I hunt whale, I have to use a harpoon or a gun, and no bait.  There is no incentive for that whale to swim in my direction.  Plus I won't have Greenpeace hassling me, or fighting off other whale hunters.  It's an ugly business and very unpopular in the world.
  

So are tuna better than whales?  No.  But you'll get along further by catching tuna, than hunting whale.  And there will be a time when I bump into a whale as I catch my tuna.  If I'm in my tuna boat, and a whale bumps into me, what does the whale do?  It stays for awhile, swimming alongside my boat, building a relationship because it likes me, as I'm not interested in eating it slowly, but have it in my hold and allow it to swim with my tuna.  It'll be a tight fit, but I have a big boat.  

Had I treated my contacts like tuna years ago, I would have been successful in the insurance business.  I just didn't give it enough time.  But that's water under the bridge, or in the hold.

The irony of this is that by fishing for tuna, building a network, and now having all these new friends in your circle, combined with your success in business, along with your increasing popularity...you'll become a whale yourself, and now other whales will now love you, and it'll be easier for you to network because now you can now catch whales along with your tuna. Just watch out for those harpoons!  

Go out and make it a great day!

John

For information on Beth Bridges and her Networking Motivator website, click here to sign up for her newsletter!

Another Brick In The Wall

When I started this blog, my purpose was to give something to help others as I helped myself. I write this not from a point of expertise, but as one who is overcoming, going through the battle like others.  It's much simpler to be candid with people rather than trying to impress them with the facade of "having it all together" in order to have credibility.

So now that you know I have no credibility, I want to share one of the biggest challenges for me:  negative self-talk, or the thoughts that run around in my head.

By nature, I'm not a negative person, but by that same nature, I'm not a super-positive person, and I'll address that more in a few minutes.

I'm not a person who sits around and says things like, "I'm a loser," or "I'll never make it." However, I wish I can say I've never said that.  In the first two years of my marriage, my poor wife had to listen to me beat myself up all the time, because of my inability to handle my failures.

I know she must have been thinking, "Wow, what a winner I married."

It didn't last forever.  When I was in my early 20's, I learned about self-talk and how harmful it was to myself and to others.  Since then, I've made efforts to be more positive in what I say, especially to others. For the most part, it's worked okay.  At least I stopped calling myself a loser.  But I'd have to grade myself with a C-plus in that area because I can do better, and I'm not a super-positive person, as I mentioned before.

My past challenges - lousy job, no job, no money, lack of material success, health issues, unaccomplished goals, not enough education, no purpose in life, family issues - affected what I allow my mind to hear, but what I failed to understand that it's up to me to keep that gate of negativity closed and fortified.

Speaking of gates, if I can offer a brief history lesson, the Great Wall of China was built to withstand armies that ventured an attack, yet history shows that in breaching the Wall, it was determined that the Wall was not breached by any type of military strategy, but merely by bribing a guard at the Wall.  The Wall was vulnerable from the inside.

Our minds are like the Wall - powerful enough to withstand anything negative that may try to enter, but it's vulnerable from the inside when we allow it to take place.

Here's what I'm doing, which works for me:

First, I have to decide each day which attitude that I'm going to have that day.  The junk is going to happen anyway; however, learning to be positive through it will provide a resource that I didn't know I had to overcome the junk.

I find ways to keep busy.  Even though I do a lot of work on the computer, I have to take a break and get away for awhile.  I force myself to get out and get some fresh air.  A phone call to a friend or from a friend helps me to get the junk out of my head.

When my train of thought is talking smack to me, I take charge of it and say "no" and move on.

I'm honest when people ask me how things are in my life.  I don't get negative, but I don't lie about it.  Trying to put on a facade is too much stress for me, as I feel like I'm lying.  I may be broke, but I'm overcoming it.  I may be struggling health-wise, but I'm getting better.  Whatever it is, it is, but it's getting better each day. And that is the truth...and the truth will set you free, right?

I start pay attention to triggers that will set me off.  There are places, people, or situations which cause me to start the downward trend.  Understanding what causes the trigger helps.  My brother, for example, knows which buttons to push to drive me nuts, but when I learned years ago how he's just like any other younger brother who likes to push buttons, and that he's not being malicious when he does it, and that he loves his big brother, in fact, idolizes his better-looking and smarter big brother (yeah, I know which buttons to push too), I don't get mad...most of the time.

I pray throughout the day.  Even if it's just a ten-second prayer, I acknowledge that God has my back, and my past failures are what's needed to achieve tomorrow's successes.  I have a lot of ten-second prayers throughout the day.

And, finally, in addition to defending the wall, I fortify my wall by using positive affirmations, scripture study, memorization and recitation, reading books on success, and just becoming a student on the subject of success and motivation.  .

I'm committed to doing something each day.  Blogging, exercise, reading, networking, studying...they all add up to making my life better each day.  I'm very excited for this year as I know it's going to be fantastic looking back on the growth that I will have made.  My goal this year is to have 365 great days!  I hope you do too!

So, go out and make it a great day!

John